I'm the poster child for Ambien

It's 3:37 am on Tuesday morning. You might be asking outloud, "Ashley, dear, wtf are you awake?" to which I would most happily offer up, "I have no stinking clue. This is my life."

I just don't sleep that often. It's not even troubling anymore. It's more...entertaining I would say. I mean, you would not believe the kind of crap you can get done when the rest of the world is asleep. Quality writing. Toe nail painting. Closet reorganization, popcorn eating, music downloading, research on the problems in Korea and of course, reading every past entry on gofugyourself.celebrityblog.com because those women are my heros.

Currently, I'm sampling the creamer I just bought (chocolate eclair...it's apparently dessert coffee time at 3 am) and downloading Kings of Leon. Not a bad band. Use Somebody and Your Sex is on Fire are my favorites, but I'm also getting into the groove of Manhattan. I can't really tell if I like a song until I can dance shamelessly to it alone in my bedroom and right now that wouldn't be fair to a sleeping scott. Thus, I will refrain and have to see how much dancing can get done in the car on the way to work.
While we're discussing tunes let's just get it out there that the entire Jack's Mannequin 'The Glass Passenger' album is amazing as well. God I wish I could play the piano like that man. It doesn't even make sense how good he is. Battles leukemia, still finds time to rock out? That's dedication. I need to quit my job and take up one of my skills for a living but for some reason am finding it hard to believe that someone would actually pay me to make ridiculously themed birthday cakes professionally. I've seen Ace of Cakes. I need more practice.

Other news: surgery has been pushed back until Feb.24th which I'm kind of relieved about. I'm not mentally prepared yet. It will also give me more stalling capabilities as I sign up for last minute, life changing experiences that might hold it off all together. "But mom, this is my one chance to swim with the penguins in Alaska...I HAVE to go," or better yet, "I'm going to be on Ace of Cakes!"....not likely? You haven't seen dedication until you've seen a sleepless internet surfer look up every thing on the planet she can apply for at the last minute!

Side note: At work today I was assigned the drive through portion. You know, people who feel that it's ok to send in an unsigned check with no ID for around $1679.56 and hope to get it cashed. Regardless (or is it 'irregardless'? Must look that up...) I was working, getting the flow of denying one person after another down when a man comes through with his deposit. Open the canister, three twenties and a deposit slip. ALL of which are coated in mustard.
Now, I should have been disgusted. Really, I should have sent it back with a nasty note that said, "Dude, unless you're gonna send the whole hotdog, I'll pass" but I didn't. Why? Because at this point I've encountered it all. Someone has actually wet their pants at my window while I've been waiting on them. A man fresh from dental surgery has spit BLOOD on my counter. I've been sneezed on, breathed on (no one brushes their teeth before 11am....No one.) touched unwillingly. I've been called a dirty liar, a thief, too slow, too fast, too quiet, too happy.

One woman actually asked me why I 'smelled that way'.
Uh, excuse you. Is it overpowering your nauseating 'eau de phermeldahyde'?
Check yourself, hag. I'm a freaking rose garden compared to most of these folks.

what was my point again? OH that's right. My job is terrible. I think that was it...nothing new actually. still on the hunt. Please tell your bosses that a girl who has seen and heard it all and can take an insult like a champ is looking for the next greatest career endeavor.

alright, time to get productive. It's 4 am...that's a perfectly acceptable time to crank the tunes and rock out while doing my hair, right?

I'd do a poll, but frankly the outcome scares me...

How pathetic is it that tonight I'm enjoying not only the original Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray:


but that I'm going to watch something entitled "ANOTHER Cinderella Story" immediately afterwards?:


Discuss amongst yourselves. I'll be in the metaphorical eighth grade bathroom, trying to figure out how to get my crush to see the real me passed the braces and wishing I was "thirty, flirty and fun".

I also kind of hate my life. Only kind of.

Hooray! Success!

Poll: Should I be a farmer?

I hate to admit such attrocities, but it turns out I am freaking FETCHING in flannel. Discuss amongst yourselves, I'll be out back practicing my milking skills.

also, I love playing dress up with my sister. There was more giggling and running around than a fifth grade sleepover.

gotta get back to helping my mother add music to her iPod. I kind of stepped out when she was adding "Get Low" to Booty Mix '09.
mothers. *sigh*

Hit me with your best shot

Ten facts about my day:

1. Watched a movie trailer entitled "Donkey Punch". After watching said trailer, had to google Donkey Punch. CANNOT BELIEVE there is a movie based on that premise. Am done googling things for the rest of my life no matter how curious I get. Ever.

2. Bought Rosi Golan's debut album The Drifter and The Gypsy. She's a musical genius. Am currently looking for the sheet music to Come Around so that perhaps I can be a musical genius as well but probably not.

3. Filled out application for student teaching in London because WTF not.

4. Started reading Ayn Rand's 'Atlas Shrugged' last night because I couldn't sleep. Found out it's about trains. Stopped reading Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged' last night. Am English major failure.

5. Was told by a man at work today that I'm his favorite smile all day long. Felt great about that until I acknowledged the fact that he is an actual bum, finger less gloves and all and that I'm also probably the ONLY smile he gets all day. I'm also confused as to how he has a bank account, but whatever. I'm a sucker for compliments.

6. I watched the latest episode of 90210 on youtube tonight and officially hate those skinny bitches and their perfect lives. "Oh it's so hard living in California and being tan and this heat is such a pain in the ass, I might just have to wander around in a tube top and bikini bottom" blah blah blah. If 90210 is canceled next week due to bombing on set...I didn't do it.

I won't say I didn't pay someone to though.

7. I ate an entire bag of toffee covered popcorn in the parking lot of Silky's waiting for Sarelle to meet me for dinner and drinks this evening. My teeth hurt. I don't even like toffee popcorn. This is what happens when you get caught up in a ridiculous romantic paperback from a girlfriend in the back seat of your car during a snow storm for forty five minutes waiting for friends.

8. Attemtped "Atlas Shrugged" one more time because I'm no quitter! Still hate trains. Stopped reading....again.

9. Decided to go home this weekend. I miss my mom. I'm also hoping if I make the sad puppy dog face over the mess that is my life for long enough she'll take me out for ice cream and to look for new shoes. I need boots like you wouldn't believe. It will also be entertaining to see how big the actual puppies have gotten and more importantly, how much of my house is still standing. I don't really care about much more than my bed and remote. Devour the rest you scoundrels.

10. "I could run, I could run for the life of me. But where would that get me? Where would that lead? I'm a fool for waiting so long."

gross

Ugh.
There it is, since FB is stone. Eat it up kids, all my dirty laundry.
Better update when I'm feeling....better?
love.

R.I.P.

Poor Miss. Cleo.
I am officially the WORST fish owner in the history of the world.

Maybe I need to try for something sturdier. Like a puppy. Or in my case, something REALLY sturdy.

Where do I get a T-Rex?