I can't tell if I absolutely love this template or am just feeling...Christmasy...Whatever. I'm keeping it for now. I'm tired of freaking you, my faithful few, out with my weird eyeballed layouts. Plus, it's difficult to look through them all. Because there are billions to choose from, many of which don't have working buttons and such. God I'm tired just thinking about.
Besides, the real reason I'm posting tonight is because I just got Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture" this weekend from a used bookstore and I TOLD myself I couldn't read any of my new books until some stuff got taken care of but then I was all, 'man what am I gonna do during prep hour while subbing today?' and so I grabbed it off my shelf and brought it with me never thinking that the hour I spent reading it would be the hour THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.
First of all friends, where the F were you on this one? No one's heard of this book before? No one could recommend to me, their avid reader friend and general sap of society who would pay for a good cry if given the opportunity??? It's AMAZING. I was subbing! I was substituting and kids were coming in the room all, "What is up with the sub? Why is she sobbing like that?! Someone get the woman a tissue for crying out loud, don't startle her."
The entire day was spent with really confused kids sitting in silence intermittently broken up by my outlandish sniffling. Thanks Randy Pausch. That was meant to be sarcastic and yet, truly, thank you. For living or dying, I'm not quite sure. Maybe just for letting me be a part of both.
Subbing again tomorrow. Am bringing an entirely different genre of reading material for my prep hour, even if I have to resort to Anime or Sudoku Puzzles from the DFP.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Creepy as F
Hey guess what there are a billion of in the world? More than Asians, there are blogger templates to choose from and it's mind blowing.
And I found the MOST PERFECT ONE. It was pink. Yes, pink. It was a cherry blossom tree and it was adorable and if it didn't totally give me a migraine trying to read between the leaves all of my pearls of wisdom, I would have kept it.
Guess what I'm terrible at? HTML. So I had to pick something else just for tonight. I could have chose the Zac Efron one (fabulous) or the PlayBoyBunny one (double fabulous and classy) but then I came across this one.
Something about it spoke to me. Perhaps it's the fact that she has ONE EYEBALL colored in. Maybe it's the fact that it's entitled "Watching" and that alone was enough to scare the bajeezus out of me. Whatever it is, I had to have it.
I mean SHE'S JUST SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. It's like I'm stuck in the movie The Ring but instead of that kid who meows I've got some one eyed doll that just watches me and it's obscene. Seriously, I can't even come to my own blog.
Be prepared for more hilarity to ensue as I filter one template from another. I saw a Simpson's one earlier that was so fantastical I actually cried out, 'Doh!' before deciding maybe I need something a little more mature.
Then again, according to Cyclops here, maybe not.
And I found the MOST PERFECT ONE. It was pink. Yes, pink. It was a cherry blossom tree and it was adorable and if it didn't totally give me a migraine trying to read between the leaves all of my pearls of wisdom, I would have kept it.
Guess what I'm terrible at? HTML. So I had to pick something else just for tonight. I could have chose the Zac Efron one (fabulous) or the PlayBoyBunny one (double fabulous and classy) but then I came across this one.
Something about it spoke to me. Perhaps it's the fact that she has ONE EYEBALL colored in. Maybe it's the fact that it's entitled "Watching" and that alone was enough to scare the bajeezus out of me. Whatever it is, I had to have it.
I mean SHE'S JUST SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. It's like I'm stuck in the movie The Ring but instead of that kid who meows I've got some one eyed doll that just watches me and it's obscene. Seriously, I can't even come to my own blog.
Be prepared for more hilarity to ensue as I filter one template from another. I saw a Simpson's one earlier that was so fantastical I actually cried out, 'Doh!' before deciding maybe I need something a little more mature.
Then again, according to Cyclops here, maybe not.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Looks like Poop
It has just occured to me that I am never happy with the template backgrounds that blogger has to offer my wonder that is AshinPitt. I need something flashy and fun. Something not brown. I'm currently looking for the BEST background photo (I'm thinking it features my favorite girls wearing Harry Potter Sorting Hats, but we'll see) and then from there need to enlist my sister and her internet genius to make this perfect blog backdrop possible. Also need the perfect font. Color scheme. oooh oooh icons! I want fun icons!
wish me luck. Oh, also enjoy this picture of Kelley.
wish me luck. Oh, also enjoy this picture of Kelley.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
12 hour day
I wish I had a video camera to capture all of the ridiculous conversations I had today between substitute teaching and the daycare and the wonder that is Michigan driving in between. Since I did not, you will just have to enjoy it via blog. Ahem.
Student 1: My stupid ACT told me I was going to be a truck driver!
Student 2: Wow, that sucks.
Student 1: Yeah, just cause I said I liked to drive?
Student 2: Seriously. I mean, what if you wanted to be a taxi cab driver or something?
Child: I'm driving a car!
Me: You are?! Where are you going?
Child: Home Depot!
Me: What are you gonna get at Home Depot?
Child: Oh, steaks and chicken.
Me: At Home Depot?
Child:Yeah!
Me: Don't you mean Walmart?
Child:...Oh Crap. (slaps forehead)
and my FAVORITE conversation of the day....
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I dont know, forty? Was I speeding? HOW is that speeding?
Officer: You were going 38. In a 25.
Me: O-M-F-G you have got to be kidding me.
Officer: This isn't a joke, license and registration please...I wrote you a ticket for 5 over but ma'am, you need to SLOW DOWN.
IS HE KIDDING ME?? He said it like such a freaking warning. LIke, "Geez lady I can't believe you had the nerve to put the pedal to the metal on this random side road that you assumed was a 35 mph zone and were weirdly mistaken and therefore booked it through at a WHOPPING 39, the speed that Lance Armstrong could bicycle at on a bad day, you're SUCH a twat."
I've also just realized that the other conversations during my day should have been a premonition that driving was out of the question as they, too, had to deal with driving cars. I'm looking up the bus schedule as we speak. Not so that I can use it. So that I can give it to the next police officer who pulls me over that I go bat-shit crazy. After such a break-through "crazy lady" scene I'm going to physically puncture holes in his tires with my bare teeth and then, after a curtsy, hand him the bus schedule because his ass will need a way to get home.
Student 1: My stupid ACT told me I was going to be a truck driver!
Student 2: Wow, that sucks.
Student 1: Yeah, just cause I said I liked to drive?
Student 2: Seriously. I mean, what if you wanted to be a taxi cab driver or something?
Child: I'm driving a car!
Me: You are?! Where are you going?
Child: Home Depot!
Me: What are you gonna get at Home Depot?
Child: Oh, steaks and chicken.
Me: At Home Depot?
Child:Yeah!
Me: Don't you mean Walmart?
Child:...Oh Crap. (slaps forehead)
and my FAVORITE conversation of the day....
Officer: Do you know how fast you were going?
Me: I dont know, forty? Was I speeding? HOW is that speeding?
Officer: You were going 38. In a 25.
Me: O-M-F-G you have got to be kidding me.
Officer: This isn't a joke, license and registration please...I wrote you a ticket for 5 over but ma'am, you need to SLOW DOWN.
IS HE KIDDING ME?? He said it like such a freaking warning. LIke, "Geez lady I can't believe you had the nerve to put the pedal to the metal on this random side road that you assumed was a 35 mph zone and were weirdly mistaken and therefore booked it through at a WHOPPING 39, the speed that Lance Armstrong could bicycle at on a bad day, you're SUCH a twat."
I've also just realized that the other conversations during my day should have been a premonition that driving was out of the question as they, too, had to deal with driving cars. I'm looking up the bus schedule as we speak. Not so that I can use it. So that I can give it to the next police officer who pulls me over that I go bat-shit crazy. After such a break-through "crazy lady" scene I'm going to physically puncture holes in his tires with my bare teeth and then, after a curtsy, hand him the bus schedule because his ass will need a way to get home.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Video Test
I wonder if video works on this, let me know if it's impossible to see. Also, if it does, you can now enjoy the benefits of having three dogs. Go out and get a puppy for yourself. Be prepared to never have personal space, ever again.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Highlight of my day
Today at work I had the most ridiculous conversation with a two year old named Christian. It went as such:
Christian: Is that your coffee?
Me: Yup.
Christian: Can I have your coffee?
Me: No, coffee is for big people.
Christian: Big people?
Me: Well, for adults.
Christian: You're big?
Me: Uh...I mean, I'm not huge or anything. I'm bigger than you, if that's what you're getting at.
Christian:....You're big?
Me: Please stop saying that kid. I meant to say I'm an adult. I'm older than you, yeah, that's better. Older, not bigger. Compared to other people my age I'm of average size, though, I think. Well, not compared to girls, I guess compared to some girls I'm taller than most, but not by a lot. Like, Heidi Klum has got some inches on me. Not that I look anything like Heidi Klum either. But I'd like to. Do you know who she is?
Christian:....(crickets, blank stare)
Me: So that's a no?
Christian: Is that your coffee?
The next time one of you find me staring longingly across the room at a small child making the "I want a baby face" can you PLEASE remind me that I'm retarded with them? Thanks.
confusing one baby soul at a time,
ash
p.s. nyc09 post to come. excited? I can feel it!
Christian: Is that your coffee?
Me: Yup.
Christian: Can I have your coffee?
Me: No, coffee is for big people.
Christian: Big people?
Me: Well, for adults.
Christian: You're big?
Me: Uh...I mean, I'm not huge or anything. I'm bigger than you, if that's what you're getting at.
Christian:....You're big?
Me: Please stop saying that kid. I meant to say I'm an adult. I'm older than you, yeah, that's better. Older, not bigger. Compared to other people my age I'm of average size, though, I think. Well, not compared to girls, I guess compared to some girls I'm taller than most, but not by a lot. Like, Heidi Klum has got some inches on me. Not that I look anything like Heidi Klum either. But I'd like to. Do you know who she is?
Christian:....(crickets, blank stare)
Me: So that's a no?
Christian: Is that your coffee?
The next time one of you find me staring longingly across the room at a small child making the "I want a baby face" can you PLEASE remind me that I'm retarded with them? Thanks.
confusing one baby soul at a time,
ash
p.s. nyc09 post to come. excited? I can feel it!