Today I substituted for an eighth grade math class in what can only be described as the "Kids with a Short Bus Problem" classroom and this one kid was all,
"Hey teacher whats your real name?" and I'm like, "Ms. Earp" and he's like, "No, your REAL name."
So I'm all "Just call me Ms. Earp" and then he says "Fine, substitute, did you ever do drugs?" and of course, I'm horrified. How do I even respond to something like that? So I say, "That's an inappropriate question, please do your work" and then HE SAYS "Well, I'm just saying I'd do blow off your ass."
OH. IS THAT ALL YOUR SAYING?
And then I had to send him down to the office. This is after, of course, I sent down the kid who opened up a wound on his hand to WIPE BLOOD ON ANOTHER KID FOR NO FREAKING REASON. Do you know how much paperwork is involved when one kid bleeds on another ON PURPOSE???
I'm exhausted. I'm never going back to that classroom ever again in my entire life forever and always never, never, never and also, no, it's not happening. I also am changing my career track to something less likely to cause me to commit suicide. Like professional shoe buying. Icecream taster. What's the job market for people measurer these days? And by People Measurer I totally mean someone whose sole job it is to just measure people's height. All day long.
After which I'll kindly pat those on the head the people who are shorter than me. All condescending like. Cause I can!
