Oh, haven't you seen The Ruins? The movie about four unsuspecting college kids traveling in South America when they happenstancingly wander onto some sort of Mayan Temple/Raiders of the Lost Ark/Goblet of Fire bullshit and are forced to stay because OH HOLY MOTHER OF THE LORD THEY TOUCHED THE PLANTS. The guards around the temple with their arrows lose their shit immediately and get all "Shoot her on my mark, she looks like she has a grass stain on her knee... we can't have none of that round here."
That's right, the bad guy in this film feeds off of: photosynthesis and your brain.
And, I mean, really the whole thing is just so ludicrous but I just keep watching in horror as one by one they get picked off by the vines that creep into your flesh in the middle of the night when NO ONE SHOULD BE SLEEPING ANYWAY but of course they all are. Truly, the film ends with more blood and gore than a Jason flick. I can't tear myself away. It's just that terribly, horribly, frightfully, awfully good.
(From left to right)
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THE PLANTS! They don't call it POISON IVY because Drew Barrymore was just THAT HOT in the movie!"
"I didn't mean to, it was an ACCIDENT. I don't know why you're so upset...I'm the blonde one, clearly I'm going to die first."
"Why am I washing her cuts while it's raining?"
"Ok, I know you said they were bad...but what about this one? Is this the type of weed I can smoke?....still no?...ok, I'll keep looking."
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