IQ = 1 Bajillion

I am a genius.
It took me like...a week to figure out this Twitter nonsense. It shouldn't have. I mean really, how complicated can it be to say what you're doing at a moment's notice on the web? Shouldn't be that complicated. If Ashton Kutcher can twitter, anyone can, right?
Wrong.

However, I've been upping my vitamin c and had the brain juices flowing this week. Figured it out. I've found exactly one and a half friends on this thing so far (thanks, i can haz cheezburger, at least you love me) and will probably give up within the week. However, if you're curious how much I'm hating my homework recently or think to yourself, "Ashley's blogs are ridiculous and lengthy" then come and see what I'm up to at twitter.com/a2earp. Hooray!

Fun facts: Job interview in Michigan for a lead teaching position with Premiere Academy. Babies all day long? Did Jesus actually create this position in Heaven's HR strictly for me? I THINK SO. Interview criteria? Hopefully the baby voice. "OoosheebooshheeeboooIseeyou". Done and done.

I went home for exactly twenty four hours the other day which, in case you've never driven from Pittsburgh, meant a total of fourteen hours in my house. I slept, let our puppies out and had lunch with my mom at Pei Wei before heading back. I went for a specific reason, ended up skipping, it's not really important. What IS important about this story is that I love Pei Wei, even if my mother did order for me and I ended up with slimy noodles and bean sprouts. Her lunch was great and I stole that continuously when she went to get pop refills.
It also allowed me to get mildly excited for a possible move back to Michigan for a bit. I mean, I'm not a huge fan of Michigan. Really, the weather blows and the roads are terrible and if you haven't heard, unemployment is at like 11% so really, Michigan is like the worst state to live in. Beth got a new job there and starts in two weeks though and honestly, no matter how terrible a state is, you can't help but love where you live if one of your best friends is three miles away, wanting to sip coffee and giggle with you. I miss my friends a lot more than I realized. I love being here and I love living with Scott because he's one of my best friends as well. However, I hate my job and I don't know...I dont know. I probably can't say that enough. I dont know, I don't know. I need home for a while. Home for the first time in seven years.

It reminds me of that point in Garden State where Zack Braff is asking Natalie Portman about that realization in your life when your home isn't your home anymore. "It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist anymore." How am I homesick for a bedroom that's not even there? I want to be eleven again and sleep in a twin bed (holy crap) and hear my mother play country music ridiculously loud at eight am on a saturday even though i'll hate it and have to ask her to drive me to Jill's house so we can wash barbie clothes in her downstairs bathroom sink and make up a dance to I Saw The Sign. I want it back because going back is way easier than going forward. Not to redo anything. I wouldn't redo a thing. I just want to see it again. Relive it. Feel that way for a minute.

I'm happy, I swear to God. I don't know, doesn't everybody get that way? A little lethargic and reminicent? I don't think I spelled that right. And now I feel like i'm depressing the crap out of everyone.

Downloaded "Like Johnny and June" today at my mother's urging. Just get it, even if you hate country music. It's adorable in a really romantic way and in honor of Valentine's Day everyone deserves a little romance.

OH and speaking of Garden State (remember, like two paragraphs ago?) the girls and I were discussing 500 Days of Summer and how indy adorable it looks, much like G.S. Which got us started on the wonder that is Zooey Deschanel. I didn't spell that right either but I don't care. Let it be known that because of her, I've fully accepted the "girl crush" and the out of control one i have on her. She's adorable. I declared she made the list of ladies I would date which, of course, meant I actually had to make a list with more than just Zooey Deschanel on it. Therefore, I present to you, girls I would go Lindsay Lohan for.

1. Sophia Bush. Part raspy voice, part attitude, homegirl knows how to work it. Also, her taste in clothing is ridiculous and dating her would mean unlimited access to her closet.
2. Katy Perry. I'd kiss her. I'd like it. I wouldn't have been the only one. Plus, has anyone else seen the video of her falling in a giant cake on stage and just laughing her ass off while making a fool of herself? That's good sportsmanship. I'm all about dating good sports.
3. Zooey Deschanel. She's just adorably quirky. And tiny. I could fit her in my pocket.
4. Nikki Reed. I'm just gonna come out and say the babe has nice cans and a good tan. Can't argue with that.
5. Jessica Alba. Is that cliche? I'm sorry but even with the ridiculous bangs and baby she's sporting recently, she's still dropping it like it's hot.

There you have it. Feel free to fantasize/throw up til your heart's content, whatever feels natural. In my defense, it's late and I never anticipated tonight's blog entry to end with my "Who I'd change teams for" list. C'est la vie. I'm going to bed.