Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mocking Other People's Children

How disgusting is it that I woke up this morning and thought to myself, if just FOR AN INSTANT, "God I wish I was Suri Cruise?"

Granted, there are plenty of other equally awful people to wish to be. I've seen my sister wish upon a star that she was the lead singer of Greenday and I was all "What? With the hair and the makeup? That would be AWFUL!"
And at least once, in my own terribly naive youth, I wished to be the serious girlfriend of one dream boat, Taylor Hanson. Can you imagine if such wishes had come true? I'd currently be the mother of a billion children, still on tour with Hanson.

HANSON. MMMBOP. DOP DOP BY DOOOWOP. SHOOBEEDOPBYDOOWOP. DOP.BY.DOO.

And sure, there's a portion of me that is very happy God didn't let that little wonder of a wish actually occur.
There does come a point though, I think with everyone, where you look at someone out there in the world who has no issues. Who literally seems to be walking around basking in the glory of fame and fortune with no actual work and know...you just KNOW they will be set for life, as long as they don't fall into the hands of hard narcotics or a gender identification issue.

Like Suri Cruise. Whom I just saw on the cover of some awful magazine eating a cupcake and wearing a tutu and a great pair of heels. And I was so overcome with "Why must I work so hard for so little, when she does so little for so much in return?"

And yes, perhaps it is a little insane and pathetic of me to be jealous of the life of a 4 year old who just had a princess birthday party and who's father is, certifiably if not officially identified as, crazy. There does come a point, with each of us I believe, where we want to say that enough is enough. I'm done working hard with no pay off.

I wish I was Suri Cruise.

And then, because we know these dreams are just impossible dreams, we sit back and make fun of what a boy Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has become most recently and how we're thankful we'll never have to deal with her load of crap. Seriously, brothers and sisters from the four corners of the world, but no one will get the kid a decent skirt and haircut?

POOR POOR SHILOH JOLIE-PITT.

1 comment:

kell said...

for real - face=angelic. hair=mullet. FIX HER SHE'S A GIRL!!!