My mother and I went out together this past Sunday for the weekend Walmart/Kroger/Walgreens run around (and no, I did not get paid to mention them. I mentioned them because they have the best prices, period, and should be endorsed at every opportunity. So you can kindly EAT IT, TRADER JOES).
We're meandering around Kroger, trying to find something my mother insists is fat-free cream cheese (neuf-chatel?) and as we exit the building we're behind these two teenaged boys and one EXTREMELY OLD LADY with a buggy. The following conversation ensued:
Me: Do you think they're with her or are they just pulling her buggy?
Mom: Oh, they're with her. Did you see what's in her buggy? She can't eat all that.
Me: Well it's still nice of them to take their grandma to the grocery store.
Mom: She bought them Toblerone. They did it for the candy. They're no better than six year olds.
Me: What the F is Toblerone?
Mom: And now the younger one is on one of those old people automated carts while she unloads all the groceries into the car by herself.
Me: Shut UP.
Mom: And LOOK.AT.THAT. A whole bag of returnable bottles in the trunk that no one took in.
Me: How are you seeing all of this?
Mom: Those teenage boys are useless.
Me: You're kind of a weird, stalkerish people-watcher. You know that right?
Mom: If that were me I would have KICKED YOUR BROTHER'S ASS. Buys them Toblerone. Are you kidding me?
Me: So...we should go now huh?
Mom: HE'S STILL RIDING THE AUTOMATED BUGGY.
And that is how my mother can take any nice gesture and turn it into the selfish work of the devil in a Kroger's parking lot.
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